soooo we both peed the bed last night...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Can I color on your dick again?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
