Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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