So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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