Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
