Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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