ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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