Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize