He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
