you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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