Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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