he was CRYING into my vagina
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
