Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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