He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
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Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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