Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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