I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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