Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
