Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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