sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
