He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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