Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize