Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
