i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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