Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
