Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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