Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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