at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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