i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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