words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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