My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
