I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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