i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
