where am i from again
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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