I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
