trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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