Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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