I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
