my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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