Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again

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  (617): you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again http://tfl.nu/3f6n
  Replies (10) Good night (5781) Bad night (1061)
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  (310): View more from California

  I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..

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  (310): I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas.. http://tfl.nu/m0nn
  Replies (24) Good night (3466) Bad night (883)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?

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  (440): any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10? http://tfl.nu/j6t4
  Replies (13) Good night (1192) Bad night (5089)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.

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  (540): Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later. http://tfl.nu/bbcr
  Replies (9) Good night (4676) Bad night (1016)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.

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  (708): Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud. http://tfl.nu/swnn
  Replies (15) Good night (4514) Bad night (1637)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.

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  (570): just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands. http://tfl.nu/q7ak
  Replies (13) Good night (1089) Bad night (2750)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game

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  (775): Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game http://tfl.nu/pqd8
  Replies (5) Good night (1924) Bad night (658)
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  (510): View more from California

  God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.

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  (510): God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars. http://tfl.nu/alo4
  Replies (9) Good night (3070) Bad night (918)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.

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  (859): We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge. http://tfl.nu/pldc
  Replies (7) Good night (2908) Bad night (730)
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  (607): View more from New York

  How high are you?

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth

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  (607): How high are you? (413): I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth http://tfl.nu/qyq7
  Replies (5) Good night (1381) Bad night (536)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake

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  (908): I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake http://tfl.nu/q1u7
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (305)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....

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  (517): He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed..... http://tfl.nu/4yft
  Replies (4) Good night (670) Bad night (466)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.

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  (941): She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love. http://tfl.nu/cbee
  Replies (3) Good night (270) Bad night (651)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing

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  (717): I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing http://tfl.nu/zf0p
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (245)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.

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  (518): I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday. http://tfl.nu/dunc
  Replies (1) Good night (411) Bad night (152)

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