he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.