Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Hahahaha

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  make that 40.

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  (270): 32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha! (1-270): Hahahaha (270): make that 40. http://tfl.nu/5c9z
  Replies (3) Good night (861) Bad night (1958)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"

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  (706): i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!" http://tfl.nu/rg7b
  Replies (164) Good night (1904) Bad night (3475)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell

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  (704): When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell http://tfl.nu/rk2d
  Replies (9) Good night (3444) Bad night (776)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous

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  (204): She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous http://tfl.nu/ntwa
  Replies (17) Good night (9070) Bad night (848)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.

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  (804): I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size. http://tfl.nu/11z8
  Replies (20) Good night (6252) Bad night (876)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.

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  (732): I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/b4iy
  Replies (10) Good night (2096) Bad night (3751)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.

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  (301): he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself. http://tfl.nu/68qu
  Replies (13) Good night (4569) Bad night (1245)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.

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  (651): I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle. http://tfl.nu/juw9
  Replies (25) Good night (6941) Bad night (1187)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?

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  (631): Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells? http://tfl.nu/xi2s
  Replies (3) Good night (3532) Bad night (981)
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  (805): View more from California

  I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard

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  (805): I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard http://tfl.nu/np0a
  Replies (5) Good night (1098) Bad night (2027)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.

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  (724): No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology. http://tfl.nu/e8xh
  Replies (8) Good night (4050) Bad night (850)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.

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  (308): First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress. http://tfl.nu/t184
  Replies (2) Good night (766) Bad night (330)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.

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  (612): I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid. http://tfl.nu/jof2
  Replies (1) Good night (841) Bad night (336)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was

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  (727): all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was http://tfl.nu/9gyk
  Replies (1) Good night (835) Bad night (228)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.

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  (317): I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me. http://tfl.nu/crpx
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (234)

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