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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (718): View more from New York

  we need to drink 2009 down the drain

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (585): View more from New York

  S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.

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