He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
