Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
