she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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