He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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