as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
They left me at home... I'm a liability
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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