Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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