i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
