distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
