"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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