ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
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I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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