Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
