I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
