butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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