im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
