if i died would you start the facebook group?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
