yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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