Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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