Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
