She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
