I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
